Oysters

Today was my first real day in NZ (as yesterday was cold and rainy and I didn't do much, it didn't count). I walked into the center of Christchurch to see what it had to offer. There were shops and cafes, galleries and museums, a festival of buskers (street performers), a street market, and a tourist information site which had about a thousand things that I would love to do in my six weeks here. The world was my oyster. So what did I do? I had myself a good old-fashioned breakdown.

Yes, in the middle of the town square, with jugglers and vendors and tourists surrounding me, I melted down. All I wanted to do was find a quiet corner by myself and cry. I had to settle for an unoccupied bench; I put something on my lap that I could pretend to read, let my hair fall around my face, and I sobbed.

I was overwhelmed by all the choices I had, all the decisions I had to make, and, most importantly I think, that I would be doing it all on my own. I was just suddenly blindsided by the fact that I am lonely. Not alone, by any means, for I've had plenty of people to talk to, but it's not the same as being with family and friends; as sharing all these amazing experiences with people I know and love. So I sat and felt sorry for myself and cried.

When the tears and snot got to the point that they were dribbling into my lap I decided I needed to do something. I stole a napkin from a cafe, and used one of my lifelines to phone a friend. I only had 8 minutes left on my Australian SIM card, so we didn't have long, but he said all the things I needed to hear-- most importantly, "Hello."

I am better now. I knew it would be a fleeting thing, and it was. I spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around, visiting the lovely Botanical Gardens, and reminding myself how terribly lucky I am. I'll be home before I know it, and wishing I could do it all over again, I am sure.

But, to paraphrase the fantastic children's author Judith Viorst, everyone has bad days... even in New Zealand.

PS Except for the fact that they give us pearls, I don't really care for oysters.