Traveling Alone

When I tell people that I am traveling alone this year their responses fall into one of two categories: The "You're so BRAVE" category, and the "You'll meet LOADS of people and find folks to travel with" category. To both, I say that is a load of bosh.

Traveling is easy when people go ridiculously out of their way to make sure you have what you need and know where you are going, even if you are pantomiming to each other. I have yet to go hungry or have to sleep on the street. (I also have yet to let the Lonely Planet guide to Thailand out of my sweaty grip.)

As to finding traveling companions, I have this to say. If you are reading this blog, chances are good that we are friends (although who knows how great my following has become!). But, if you think about the formation of that friendship, I would hazard a guess that we did not become what one would call "fast friends" (with the possible exception of my best friend's wife, but if we hadn't become fast friends, one of the two of us would have been one male shorter in our lives, so it worked out beautifully that I instantly adored her). I take quite a while to decide if I like someone or not. Actually, that is a big fat lie. I decide about 15 seconds after someone opens their mouth if I DON'T like them (so if we have not met yet, but you are thinking we might one day, you might want to seriously think about your opening sentence). But to become friends with a person I need quite a while. (Mind you, once you are in, you're in.)

I have been in Thailand for a week or so now, and I can conclusively say that I have met no one I care to speak with again. I thought that perhaps this was my fault, that I wasn't being outgoing enough, that perhaps I give off a certain "Don't mess with me... or even talk to me" vibe. So with that in mind, when I arrived here (where AM I??? Chiang Rai, I think) this evening and saw that there was a little courtyard and bar, I went outside and ordered myself a drink (alas, no Smirnoff Ice here, so I had to make due with a Bacardi Breezer), and forced myself to chat with the older man who was sitting out there (turned out to be German, so I tried out some LucieDeutsch on him, but, not surprisingly, we quickly switched to English). Later an older American man joined us. I nodded and smiled and held my breath as they puffed away on cigarettes and cigars, and had a fake smile plastered on my face as they both talked about how they liked to smoke a joint every day, and oh, I could buy some tomorrow if I wanted when I'm trekking in the hills. All the while I am thinking this, "How can I quickly and politely extract myself from this hellacious conversation and go to my room to read my book?"

So I don't think it's me. I am, of course, perfect. It's all the other travellers. The young guy in Bangkok talking about meeting the massage lady after work (midnight) and spending the night out drinking... The guy my age talking about how many machetes he has bought in various countries... And now the older pot smokers. Obviously the problem is that single men travelling in Thailand are all here for questionable (to me) reasons. Where are my people??? The people I would like, of course, are sitting in THEIR rooms reading books.

I have to say that meeting different people every night is feeling like two weeks of first dates. And honestly, I'm not that big a fan of dating....